What a moron

Janet Lee, a collage freshman, is suing the Philly police department after spending 3 weeks locked up in their jail. What did she do? She was found boarding a flight from Philly to LA with condoms full of a white substance in her luggage. The police field test said the power was cocaine.

Turns out it was flour. A follow up lab test proved it, so charges were dropped and she was released.

She claims that whole "flour packed condoms" in her luggage was a practical joke that her college dorm mates came up with as an exam stress releiver. She claims she was going to squeeze them to relieve stress.

Well Janet. That was really, really stupid. Almost as stupid as what you are doing now... suing the police in federal court for pain and suffering, financial loss and emotional distress.

I really it hope this goes to trial and you get your ass handed to you on a platter.

The Grocery Game

I read about a good idea to help families safe money by reducing their grocery bills. The Grocery Game is a website that matches coupons and deals against what you need to buy.

It is subscription based. You can get a trial subscroption for $1 and try it out. It should more than pay for itself on the first trip.

I wished this service had existed back when I was married and trying to get my wife to keep the grocery expenses at or under budget. I can see where this service would be very handy for families with multiple mouths to feed.

Starbucks... on the cheap

Frappuccino	Doubleshot

I have to confess that one of my vices is Starbucks Frappuccinos. I can drink those like water. However, I am also a cheap bastard. The manager of the local Starbucks taught me a little trick that allows me to get my daily Frap and caffeine fix for cheap.

What I do is buy a Frap in the bottle for $1.25. It contains 9.5 ounces of the stuff. Then I buy the 6.5oz can of Starbucks Doubleshot. Then I get a cup of ice, which is free.

Back at work, I pour 1/3 of the Frappuccino with 1/3 of the Doubleshot into the cup of ice. That give you a nice full drink. Later in the day I do it again with one 1/3 more, and then the last third in the afternoon.

So I get Starbucks quality caffeine fix, my favorite drink, and get to stay awake for less than $3 a day!

My Starbucks Theory

I have a theory as to how Starbucks manages to be everywhere. I've floated the idea to friends of mine, and they look at me like I am insane. I would love to hear your feedback.

I think that Starbucks gets sweet real estate deals. I think they pay from nothing to a heavily discounted price for the leases on their stores. That is how they are able to afford to install so many stores in so many prime locations, and still be able to be profitable without having to franchise.

I figured this out back in 2001 when I was working in Culver City. Off the I-405, there was a new high-end shopping mall being built called the Howard Hughes Center. The first shop to open at the mall was Starbucks, and they did well selling coffees to the construction workers finishing up the rest of the mall.

Besides opening 6 months before the rest of the mall stores were open, the Starbucks store also grabbed the best spot in the mall... front and center at the main entrance.

I was thinking about how they managed to do this, and it dawned on me that the answer was simple. The developer give it to them.

So why would a developer and/or a retail property owner decide to give away their premium location for a coffee shop? Why would they not try to get as much money as possible from every square foot of space they own? Isn't that what capitalism is all about? Efficiency?

The answer is simple. They need Starbucks more than Starbucks needs them. They want the cach'e of a recognized and respected coffee chain to draw paying customers to the rest of their property, which in turns allows them to market their property to other merchants.

This is not a new idea. It is called a "Loss Leader". Large store chains do this all the time. Grocery store chains and Best Buy has made an art of it. The merchant selects an item to sell at cost, or even less than cost (a loss), in order to get customers in the door. They hope to make up for the loss by being able to entice the customer to buy other items while there.

So why can't the idea of a Loss Leader also be applied to retail real estate? If I owned a shopping center, I would be thrilled to have a Starbucks in my center. It gives the center respectability, and makes my center a "destination" for people to relax and shop. They will hang around a little while longer, which give the other stores an opportunity to sell. It increases the frequency of customer visits as they stop by for their daily coffee fix.

The key to this success, and the reason Starbucks has never franchised, is consistancy. They took McDonald's main idea, consistant product and brand recognition, and applied it to high-end coffee. Customers, and property owners, are comfortable with Starbucks. People know what they are getting.

If this is true, then I have to congratulate Starbucks for their genius. Can you image back in 1985 if you put this idea on paper as your thesis for your MBA? Yes Professor... I am proposing that I open a chain a coffee stores in the best spots all over the country that sells coffee at $4 a cup and doesn't have to pay rent. They would have flunked you!

My 7x7

Bookworm tagged me. Damn it! Here is my 7X7... or at least the start of it. I will need a couple of days to think about some of these items.

1. Seven things to do before I die
2. Seven things I cannot do
3. Seven things that attract me to (...)
4. Seven things I say most often
5. Seven books (or series) that I love
6. Seven movies I watch over and over again (or would if I had time)
7. Seven people I want to join in, too.

Seven things to do before I die

• Visit the Antartic and step foot on the actual continent... not just ice.
• Visit Machi Picchu.
• Get a tattoo.
• Drop acid.
• Sail around Cape Horn and Tierra del Fuego islands.
  

Seven things I cannot do

• Cook!
• Become the principal staff photographer for Playboy (they keep rejecting my resume!).
  
• Get a tattoo.
• Raise a plant.
• Save money.
• Tell my dad how much I appreciate all he did for me, and for everyone.
  

Seven things that attract me to (...)

my ex-wife Claire:

• Her dark and wicked sense of humor.
• Her love of books.
• That fact that she understood me, or at least better than anyone ever has.
• Her love of misfits and animals.
• Her beautiful, soft, long, chestnut hair.
• Her voice and speech... so clear and perfect and articulate.
• How she should curl up next to me and let me stoke her hair while we watched movies on TV.
  

Seven things I say most often

• "I've never felt better since I've given up hope"
• "Lets go get a coffee"
• "Let me tell you how I feel about....(whatever the subject)"
• "Is dinner ready yet?

Seven books (or series) that I love

• You Got Nothing Coming
• Fear & Lothing in Las Vegas
  
• Less Than Zero
• Calvin & Hobbes
• 2001: A Space Odyssey
• Gispy Moth Circles The World
  

Seven movies I watch over and over again (or would if I had time)

• Das Boot (original in German with subtitles)
  
• Fightclub
• Dumb & Dumber
• How To Get Ahead In Advertisting
• Dr. Strangelove
  

Seven people I want to join in, too.

• My brother Tom
• Egyptian SandMonkey
• The Religious Policeman

Money earning idea

I met a woman yesterday who works for herself. She is a professional visitation monitor. She gets paid to chaperone fathers during their visitations with their children. She said she earns $45 a hour, and most visits last 2-6 hours.

Her housemate, a UCLA student, also does this for work. It allows her flexible work hours so she can attend college. She can also read during the work.

To get this job, she had to pay $400 and attend a one week training class. Then they pay a small annual membership fee to their professional organization that maintains a register of members. Customers who are under court order to have supervised visits call the organization to find a local monitor who is available.

She said during work they often end up at fast food places, shopping, pizza parlors, and other places that dads will take their kids for a visit. Often the dad's girlfriend will come along and she ends up chatting with the girlfriend the whole time.

Wow. Sure beats working at McDonalds for $6/hour.

More on the "Intelligent Design" case in Dover, PA

I mentioned yesterday at how pleased and impressed I was with Judge Jones' decision in the Dover PA legal case against teaching "I.D" in science class. As mentioned, his 139 page ruling is a masterpiece. It cuts through all the retoric and uses clear logic and reason to rip ID to shreds. Not only did Jones simply rule against ID, but he did America a great service by utterly destroying the unsound and flawed foundations of the "ID" movement.

This setback for creationist is like Napolian's defeat at Waterloo. This case was going to be THE case for the religous right. They decided that little Dover, PA is where they were going to take their stand and force ID upon America. They lost, and they lost spectacularly. Under the harsh and cold light of legal and logic analysis, their cause showed its true colors. It was nothing but a faith based creationism rehashed and unable to stand up to the same tests that define science. This case will prove to be their high-water mark.

Now that they have failed, it is time to start assigning the blame to scapegoats. Like rats fleeing a sinking ship, the backers of ID are pointing fingers and trying to distance themselves as far from this fisco as possible. U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum has decided to cut his ties with the Ann Arbor. Michigan based Thomas More Law Center.

You too can help punish those who try to force their religious beliefs on the rest of us, especially through decieit. I'll give you a couple of facts that you may not know about this.

The Dover PA school board who voted to implement ID was encouraged to do this by the Thomas More Law Center. The center promised to defend any school board that implemented ID. Dover PA was simply the first case to make it this far.

The Tomas More Law Center was founded and is run by Richard Thompson. He used to be the Oakland County, Michigan District Attorney. He was driven out of public office because he used it to advance faith based causes, often loosing, and wasting massive amounts of tax dollars and scarce public resource on "moral" cases.

So his strong convictions to his faith overwhelm his judgement as a D.A. to the point where he can not separate his duties to the greater public and the state and US consitutions from those of his faith. Fine. Oakland Country had to pay the price for his mistakes. They canned him and moved on. He is out of public office and is now a private attorney.

Mr. Thompson is backed financially by Tom Monagham, the multi-millionare founder of Domino's Pizza. Mr. Monahham is well known as a devout Catholic and funding anti-abortion causes.

So. The next time you order a Domino's Pizza, you are supporting these idiots who want to reduce American into a Tablian-style dark ages of the Christian religious right.

Sesame Street on the web

I was having lunch with a coworker yesterday that has a 4 year old girl at home. He was telling how proficent on the computer she has become. He said that she spends hours and hours on the Sesame Street website. I didn't know that Sesame Street even had a web site, especially one for kids. But I think it is a great idea.

Unlike the TV show, computers are interactive. The child can respond to the characters, make decisions, make mistakes, and learn from them. They get rewarded for learning, exploring, and trying things again and again until they learn it and move on to more exciting things. He told me that his daughter can already read, and type.

He said that he also lets her visit the Disney for Kids web site. He trusts them and Sesame Street to not introduce virusus on his home computer, or link the kid to places where he doesn't want them to go. He has installed a firewall on his computer that only allows his daughter to go to this two web sites.

I think this is a brilliant use of tax dollars! God knows the government wastes much more on worthless pork projects than they throw at Children's Television Workshop (the producers of Sesame Street).

Teens on the Internet

Being a 42 year old man with no kids of my own, I am blissfully unaware of some of the things that teenage kids are up to. Since growing up before the Internet, I am also unaware of the some of the problems and threats that the Internet has introduced to teenagers.

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First. This one is scary. Here is an article in the New York Times profiling a teenage boy who discovered that he could get money with his bedroom computer and an inexpensive web cam by allowing pediphile pervs to watch him. It is a very interesting read because it illustrates how the child-porn industry has changed. It in past, it was assumed that the children where manipulated or forced into the performances. But now, the kids are taking the initiative and selling themselves.

There is still the agent of this crime... the adult(s) that manipulates the child into this. But these ease in which a child or teen can, by themselves, produce, distribute, and profit from their exploitation is mindblowing.

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Second: How much do you know about IM? IM is "Internet Messaging". It is similar to texting messages back and forth between cell phones. Every teenager I've ever met IM's friends all the time. I suppose that this can be compared to the teenage girl who used to tie up the telephone for hours on end chatting endlessly to her girlfriends. But IM is different. It allows the scale of the communications to grow enormously. They are not just talking to one person at a time. Instead, it can be dozens, all over the world.

I recently helped a friend of mine prep her old laptop for use by her mother. My friend has a teenage daughter who used to use this laptop. I purged all of the unneeded software, removed tons of viruses and spyware, and fix a lot of problems. The I installed MS Messenger, Microsoft's IM product. I plugged the laptop into the internet and within seconds I was being bombarded with IM messages from strangers.

From the content, it seemed like most of the messengers where other teenage boys. When I failed to respond to their IM's, or I did not respond right, they got weird and starting asking me of I was so-and-so, the teenager daughter of my friend.

So I appears that when I installed IM, it registered itself as the teenager's profile from when she had installed and used MS Messenger before. So to these boys, it appears like she was online.

Anyhow... I found it quit disturbing. I also noticed that when I went over to their house to pick up the computer, the teenager was working online with MS Messenger on the new laptop. Whenever I or her mom would walk into the office, the daughter would quickly minimize the IM screen. Obviously she did not want us "adults" to see what was being written.

It just wrote it off as typical teenager paranoia and privacy demands. Still, if it were my kid, it would bug me.

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Third, and last: File Sharing and the dangers to the home PC. I was talking to my sister the other day and the subject of the home computer came up. My sister mentioned that the family computer had died thanks to a very nasty virus that her teenager daughter had introduced. My sister told me that the computer had become unusable before it totally died. Viruses had taken over the browser, forcing user to porn sites, gambling sites, etc, etc. Millions of pop-ups were showing up. There was spyware everywhere.

The cause of these problems on their family PC was their teenager daughter's habit of downloading any file-sharing program that struck her fancy. In her reckless attempts at getting and sharing the latest songs, she failed to take even the simplest precautions to prevent the infection of the computer by rouge software.

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Conclusion: The conclusion to me is that parents that allow their children unlimited and unsupervised access to the Internet are risking no only their computer systems, but their children as well. I think some simple precautions should be in order.
(1) Remove modems and WiFi NICs from the child's computer. The only way they should be able to get online is by plugging into the family's broadband router.
(2) Put the router, and better yet, the computer, into a centralized family office. This will force all online activity to be performed in an area that can be supervised, versus hiding in their bedrooms.
(3) Webcam? Unless the kid can provide some compelling reason as to why they need one, then they don't get one. Keep in mind that there are other ways they get images online... such as using their mobile phone camera and transferring them to their computer.
(4) Restrict online hours. You need to password protect the router and have it only one for certain times. Access outside of those time are on as ass-needed basis and have to be explicitly permitted.

I don't think parents need to be paranoid. Common sense will go a long way. The computer and online access should be controlled just like television and gaming. The parents have to control the quantity and quality of access to all these things.

"Intelligent Design" - Called for what is really is.

Wow!!! I am so happy today. The judge who presided over the Dover, PA case where creationism tried to force "Intelligent Design" into the biology classes called a spade a spade. I am so impressed. The wording he used was so..... right and well written. He totally called it.

If it looks, walks, talks, and quacks like a duck. Then it is a duck.

What a refreshing breath of common sense and sanity. I have yet to read a more articulate and more well reasoned argument on the matter. It puts all doubts to bed. He even anticipated how the pro-ID people would react and called them on it.

What I really like is that he had the courage to say the truth.... that this was an attempt by the religious right to force their religious beliefs into the schools. And he said that the attempts by religious advocates to dress their creationist beliefs as "science" was a farce.

Yea!!!!!!!

Oops!

On the way to work last week in Perth I saw this new house being built. I can't believe that the owner, architect, and builder decided to put the garage right in front of the telephone pole! Hellooooo!

Cool knife holder

"

I saw this totally cool knife holder in a store in Perth before I left for the US. Isn't it so wicked?!?

CBS '60 Minutes' Program "Rendition Revisited"

I happened to have the TV on in the hotel last night while I was working on the computer. The show featured a story titled "'Rendition' Revisited" which interviewed a German named Kalid al-Masri who claims he was kidnapped and held by the CIA for 18 months and included being sent to Afghanistan for torture. Apparently the CIA nabbed him because he has the same name as a wanted terrorist suspect, and they got the wrong man.

I have a couple of thoughts on the story. First off, I think they guy is lying. I think parts of what he said are true, but he is not telling the whole story. He was arrested in Macedonian on New Year's Eve 2003. Masri, an unemployed father of five living in Ulm, Germany. He claims to have gone by bus to Macedonia to blow off steam after a spat with his wife.

Right there my BS detectors went off. I am surprised that the 60-minutes reporter didn't call him on this. That sure sounds like suspectious behavior to me. No wonder the Macedonian authorities stopped him.

What kind of man leaves his wife alone with no money and 5 young children to go to another country on New Years Eve "to blow off steam"? I don't buy it. He was there for some other reason, and he isn't saying what. What is he hiding?

Either that, or he is shooting for "Worst Dad and Husband of the Year" award.

Second. There are going to be mistakes like this made on the war-on-terror. It was simply a matter of time. So I have an idea that will help the CIA and the US Government get blamed for these boo-boos.

Dress up as extraterrestrial aliens!

If they have a target to kidnap, they should dress up like aliens and decorate their CIA airplane like the inside of a space ship. They need to make sure they give their subject lots of anal probes to make it seem legitimate.

Then if they make a mistake and grab the wrong guy, then they can dump him in a field in the middle of no-where. When he goes home and tells his friends, family, and authorities what happened, they will think he is coo-coo and ignore him. I mean when is the last time you put faith into someone who claimed they were abducted by aliens and given an anal probe?

World War III

President Bush and Rumsfeld are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Rumsfeld sitting over there?"

The bartender says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor! What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WW III."

And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blonde with big tits."

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big tits? Why kill a blonde with big tits?"

Bush turns to Rumsfeld and says, "See, I told you no one CARES about the 140 million Muslims."

Hat tip: Thanks Andrew!

Parade Magazine

Yesterday I was able to sit back and read the LA Times from cover to cover. In the Sunday edition, they include a little national fluff magazine called "Parade". This magazine has always been really light on content. It seems to be geared to a 3rd grade reading level, like USA Today.

This Sunday the feature article in Parade was "The Best & The Worst Of Everything". It was a roundup of news from 2005. I busted a gut laughing when I read one entry titled "Best Team Effort". It was about a team of 47 surfers who rode a giant surfboard in Australia. The article said "... A crowd of 5,000 people gathered near Canberra to watch the riders conquer the 40-foot-long, 10-foot wide board..."

Man I cracked up. Canberra?!? Canberra is the capital of Australia, and is NO WHERE NEAR THE OCEAN. It is an inland city in the mountains between Sydney and Melbourne. That is like saying "Surfers had fun at the Denver, Colorado beach".

Obviously, the editorial integrity of Parade magazine in regards to checking basic facts is non-existent. And they wonder why people don't read newspapers any more.

LAX

I've just spent the last day and half at an airport by LAX recovering from my flight over from Perth. It feels so good to be back in California. It is colder here than I thought it would be. I had to wear a jacket last night.

I don't have a car, so I have been walking, taking buses, or taxis.

I am staying on one of the large hotels on Century Blvd between the I-405 and the airport. I discovered quite by accident that the Manhattan Beach Merchants Association runs a free shuttle service between the Century Blvd hotels and the Manhattan Beach shopping areas. It is a cute little tram that runs every 30 minutes. It is free, and the driver only asks for tips. So I caught the shuttle over to Manhattan Beach and had dinner. What a great little service! There is nothing around the hotels, except a couple of fast food outlets and a nudie club.

The shuttle is called The Ocean Express. Click here for a brochure. If you find yourself with a long layover at LAX, then take this shuttle to downtown Manhattan Beach and have a blast!

I had to catch a taxi this morning since I had all my luggage with me. I went down to the lobby , and as I was walking out the door of the hotel with my one bag, this doorman rushes up to me and starts to try to grab my bag out of my hand. I refused and told him I could handle it.

The doorman seemed quite upset. Now I'm a big guy, 6-3, 210 pounds, and strong. I am carrying one bag that is not too heavy or large. I don't need help. And most important, I didn't WANT help. And I sure as hell didn't want to have to pay someone $2 to carry my bag 5 feet.

I told the doorman I needed a cab. He called and one minute later a cab pulled up. As I was getting seated, the doorman leaned in and demanded the driver give him a $3 "tip". The driver told the doorman to go to hell.

The driver turned out to be a pretty cool guy. He is from Ethiopia and moved to LA 15 years ago. He told me that the demand from the doorman for $3 was illegal. He said that cab drivers could not survive if they had to pay $3 to someone every time they picked up a fare. He was mad as hell. He showed me a letter from the City of Los Angeles Taxi regulation department informing the drivers that demands for "tips" from hotel staff is illegal and they should refuse to pay.

I agree. This is BS. The doorman didn't do a damn thing for anyone. He is just being greedy. That $3 is going to be paid by the passenger somewhere along the line. So I called the hotel manager and registered a complaint about the doorman's demands. I also wrote a quick letter to the taxi board and the hotel. I hope that asshole gets fired.

Home for the Holidays

Just to update everyone. I am going home to The States for the holidays. I am headed for Tucson to see mom. I will also try to get up to Santa Barbara for New Years. I am flying to Los Angeles tonight, so I will be traveling for a few days. I will hope to post some updates next week.

Enron CEO "I'm a victim of terror"

Oh man. What a looser. Kenneth Lay, the CEO of Enron, yesterday claimed he was the victim of a wave of terror. Cry me a river. I saw this short article in the LA Times.

Former Enron Corp. Chairman Kenneth L. Lay said Tuesday that he was the victim of a "wave of terror" by prosecutors and blamed his former chief financial officer for the energy company's spectacular downfall.

In a preview of his defense at his criminal trial next month, Lay, in a speech to a Houston group, said he was only to blame for trusting Andrew S. Fastow, Enron's finance chief, who has pleaded guilty to charges and will be the government's key witness against Lay and co-defendants.

"We did trust Andy Fastow, and sadly, tragically, that trust turned out to be misplaced," Lay said.

So in other words, you are saying it is all Fastow's fault. Hey Ken... you hired Fastow. You were his boss. The buck stops at YOUR desk. It was YOUR signature on the shareholder's reports. Be a man instead of a snivelling worm.

Lay, former Chief Executive Jeffrey K. Skilling and former Chief Accounting Officer Richard A. Causey will face criminal trial in January for charges brought in the aftermath of the collapse of the energy trader.

Lay also took aim at the Department of Justice's Enron Task Force, which he said launched a special investigation against him even before there was evidence of any crimes.

And that is an excuse? Are you saying that because the DOJ was sniffing around, you felt it was ok to execute a massive fraud? What kind of f**ked up logic is that?

"In this trial, apparently unlike most criminal defense cases, defendants are trying to get the truth in, and the prosecutors, the Enron Task Force, are trying to keep it out," he said.

But if you aren't at fault because it was all the doing of your evil underling Fastow, then what "truth" is there to hide? I don't get it.

Lay called on former Enron employees to help him in presenting the truth about Enron. "Whether it will continue to be submerged by a wave of terror by the Enron Task Force will be determined by former Enron employees."

Oh yea Mr. Lay Call on your former employees for help. They are going to come streaming to your defence. Especially after you fucked them out of their jobs and retirement in order to line your own pockets. Perhaps you better be more afraid they aren't going to show up and pump some bullets into your worthless spine.

"Wave of terror"?!?! What is that? Now you think that you are the US military forces battling the insurgency in Iraq? What an insult. Perhaps the USAF will accidently-on-purpose drop a smart bomb on your house for soiling their good name.

Enron filed for bankruptcy protection in 2001 after the company's use of off-balance-sheet accounts to hide tens of billions of dollars in debt was revealed.

The company emerged from bankruptcy protection late last year and is disposing of its remaining assets to pay back creditors, who are expected to receive only a tiny fraction of what they are owed.

Lay faces seven charges for conspiracy and fraud.

He will face a separate trial in which he is accused of illegally using bank loans to buy Enron stock.

And yes. I am glad that you are terrorfied, as you claim. But I think you are lying. You will know terror when you spend the rest of the worthless life locked up in prison with hardend cons that have more integrity in their pinky than you have in your whole body. Lets see how long you last tossing out crap like that.

Another stillborn idea - they just don't get it.

Today, MTV and Microsoft announced a joint venture called URGE to sell downloadable music and videos over the internet. They want to compete with Apple's iTunes and other smaller online music sellers such as the new Napster and Rhapsody.

They were not big on details, such as prices. However, it is known that it will not work with the Apple iPods, or on Apple Macintosh computers.

This has got to be the stupidest idea I have ever heard. This will go over like a lead balloon. They probably couldn't give their product away. It just go to show how absolutely clueless the music industry still is. The vast majority of users out there have iPods. iTunes works seamlessly with the iPod players. They iTunes store is vast, cheap, and easy to use.

So how on earth does MTV plan to get people to give up their iPod's and iTunes and go to them? They are whistling in the dark.

I think part of the reason for this dumbass decision is the fact that Apple refuses to raise the prices for music on iTunes store above 99 cents a song. Some of the music labels are bitching and moaning loudly about how Apple gets to set the price and refuses to allow the music labels to "maximize" their profit levels by doubling and tripling the prices.

They are hoping the MTV's "shine" will dazzle the consumers enough to stop using the brains. They hope they won't notice that (a) their product costs 2 to 3 times as much, and (b) doesn't work on your iPod.

I think I am going to go into business selling lame-ass stupid ideas to the music industry. They seem to be dumping their money into black holes in a desperate attempt to avoid reality and turn back the clock to 1980 when they called all the shots.

It is very simple. If you don't offer a product that is affordable and easy to use, then your customers are just going to bypass you and get it from other stores, or pirated sources.

The Sydney Beach Riots

I suppose many of you outside of Australia have heard about the rioting going on at a beach in Sydney over the last couple of days. I have read some of the media coverage in the US, Asian, and European newspapers. I've noticed that most of them have it all wrong and are totally misinterpreting the events. Even the Aussie media is screwing it up.

First. The riots have nothing to do with religion. It is the culmination of weeks of harassment between gangs at one Sydney area beach. There has been a Lebanese gang trying to strong arm their way into control of the beach. What started this is an incident last week when two volunteer lifeguards were attacked and nearly killed by this gang when they attempted to intervene and rescue a woman bather who was being harassed by the gang.

That attack on the lifeguards is what has set this off. The locals feel that this gang, who happen to be of Lebanese descent, not because of it, crossed the line when attacking an Australian icon of the volunteer life saver. That is like burning the American flag in the US. Lifeguards are highly revered and respected here. Attacking one like a pack of wild dogs to prevent him from doing his duty was too much.

The "problem" in the eyes of the Australians is that going to the beach, having a barbie, a cold beer, and relaxing in the sand and surf is a God given right and an institution. Everyone is welcome. Every looks out for each other. Everyone feels safe.

The Sydney beach where this is happening is the one where the train line ends. It is the quickest and easiest way to the beach from the Southwest suburbs.

In recent years a new element has been coming down to this beach. They are the young men from Sydney's southwestern suburbs. Most are of Lebanese descent. Others are Iraqi, Pakistani, Palestinian, and other Arabs. But instead of enjoying the beach and water, they hang around in large groups looking to pick fights, perv on girls in bikinis, and harass women. A lot of people no longer feel safe there.

The problem is not that this gang just sits there and stares. They openly call women in bikinis who walk by "Aussie whores" and threaten to rape them. If any "white" man walks by alone, they challenge him to a fight. This is not rumor either. I've met a lot of people from Sydney who have horror stories of their run ins with the Lebanese gangs over there. They have bad reputation as trouble makers. And to make matters worse, they seem to take a lot of pride in that fact.

This one gang in particular seems to have decided to start flexing their muscles at this beach. They seem to be intent on terrorizing the locals into leaving. This has been in the local news for a number of weeks now. As mentioned earlier, they almost killed two volunteer lifeguards who told them to leave a woman along.

Last night, gangs of young Lebanese men were driving over town in wolf packs armed with baseball bats, iron bars, guns, etc., going on rampages. The cops were chasing cars full of them at dangerous and reckless speeds. The gangs cars would come together and they would all get out and start attacking anyone they could see and wrecking cars and buildings.

Now here is where I see the press has been getting it wrong. They mention all these attacks, but they fail to mention who was attacking. They try to make it sounds like there are gangs of angry white Aussies doing this. Just the opposite is true, but the press doesn't want to say that. That would be considered un-P.C.

So instead they make it sound like there are a bunch of hardworking, law abiding, and innocent Lebanese immigrants just doing their own thing when they are randomly attacked by roving gangs of skin heads.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

The problem is not all Lebanese. Most Aussies know this. It is a problem with violent gangs of young men between the age of 13 and 25. It is not religion either. These same gangs do lots of drugs, crime, rape, extortion, smuggling, and fraud. Those Arabs who are religious don't hang out with these hoodlums in their community.

Ocean View Real Estate - Cheap!

I read on the news today that a Chinese real estate company was shut by the government for "profiteering and lunacy". Lunacy?

The land they were selling features magnificent views of the Pacific Ocean.... all of it. The whole ocean. Sometimes you can see the whole Atlantic Ocean too. The property features no noisy neighbors, and it is dirt cheap too.

They were selling plots of the land on the Moon.

A company in China is defending its rights to sell real estate on the moon after authorities shut the scheme down on charges of profiteering and lunacy.

Beijing Lunar Village Aeronautics Science and Technology Co. has sued commercial authorities for suspending its licence to sell land on the moon only days after it commenced business.

The company's chief executive argued that no law existed in China prohibiting the selling of land on the moon.

The company had sold 49 acres of lunar land to 34 buyers within three days of opening late this year.

News reports stated that an amount slightly less than 300 yuan, or $US37, was the cost of one acre of lunar land before trading was halted.

The company in question is the China agent of the U.S.-based Lunar Embassy, an extra-terrestrial real estate firm that aims to exploit a reported loophole in a 1967 international moon treaty-ruling.

So who was stupid enough to buy one?

I picked a bad day to give up Prozac

Rigoberto Alpizar

I read about the guy in Miami who was shot dead by police at the airport after he went nuts and ran around claiming he had a bomb. Boy. He sure picked a bad place and time to go off his meds. Doing it on public transportation is not it.

We were talking about this at work today. I couldn't help but wonder what the future holds for air travel. Perhaps people on mental meds will be denied access. Perhaps you will need a note from your shrink to fly.

I was thinking what might work is a big sign at the end of the walkway before you board the plane the says "DID YOU BRING YOUR MEDS TODAY?". Better yet... perhaps the airlines themselves can start handing out meds to the passenger.

"Good morning sir. Thank you for flying with us. Here is a cup of coffee, a bag of peanuts, and a bag of Prozac."

Maybe we will get to the point when as a condition of flying, we have to have our arms and legs locked to the seat so that we can do nothing but sit there.

I detect that there might be a trend here. So far, two Latin American men have been shot and killed by police in mistaken belief that they were preparing to detonate bombs on public transport. Remember the Brazilan guy in London a few months ago? Turns out he was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and reacted in the wrong way. The report is that this guy claimed to have a bomb, altough other witnesses claim they never heard him say this.

Free PC virus scans

My ISP sent me a list of some free online based virus scanners for your PC. For those who can't afford a subscription to Norton Anti-Virus, or other decent malware protection programs.

On my list of recommended free Windows software, I have AVG as an acceptable and free anti-virus program. I want to add the following services to that list.

• Symantec Security Check [These guys make Norton Anti-virus!!!]
• BitDefender [Can only use with MS Internet Explorer because of ActiveX]
• Trend Micro Housecall
• Panda Software Activescan

So add this to your periodic PC maintenance schedule.

Time-Warner to fund a Nevada brothel?

Madam Heidi Fleiss

Time-Warner is the largest media company in the world. They are a giant conglomerate which owns CNN, Time Magazine, Warner-Brothers movie studio, America-On-Line, HBO, and other companies. I'd bet Richard Parsons, the CEO of Time-Warner, doesn't even know that they are funding the startup of another small company.

Yup. They soon might be able to add "brothel" to their investment portfolio. How?

Richard Parsons CEO of Time Warner

Time-Warner owns HBO. HBO has signed a deal with busted Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss. They get to film her getting her new brothel, Heidi's Stud Farm, off the ground in Nevada. It is interesting how this six-figure advance seems to be Heidi's seed money.

" And she just landed a six-figure deal with HBO to let a film crew document the brothel's birth. "

It is also interesting how Newsweek, Time Magazine's arch-rival, ran this story. I wonder if Time would dare connect the dots?

For the record, I have nothing against what Ms. Fleiss wants to do. Nor do I have any problem with Time Warner investing in it. It is legal in Nevada. They aren't breaking any laws.

But... I suspect that some moralist, relgious right, nuts will have a serious problem with it. Perhaps they might even boycott HBO and Bugs Bunny.

Finally... A use for beer guts!

Ladies! Finally the perfect Christmas gift for the beer loving man in your life. Someone has finally figured out a good use for beer guts. It is a product called "The Beerbelly". They have developed a removable beer gut that is really a beer bladder in disguise!

Why, you ask?

Because with Beerbelly under your shirt, a can walk right into ball games, movie theaters, and boring classes with their own stash of cold, cheap beer. No more paying $8 for a pint of bad beer at the concession stand. You just fill it up at home with your favorite beverage, strap it on, and suck away on the plastic feeding tube.

Now all they need to do is create the fake pregnancy kit for women who want to do the same. Who is gonna mess with a pregnant lady?

All I want for Xmas...

Wow. The perfect gift for those parents who want their children to become disgruntled airline screeners. Playmobil has put together the "Airport Security Checkin" set.

Blogger Daniel J. Solove ordered one for himself. Things didn't go well. Read what happened!

Playmobil also sells a police station with removable bars on the jail cell so the dangerous prisoners can escape.

Panexa - The wonder drug

Thanks mom! She tipped me off to this new wonder drug, Panexa, brought to us from the good folks at the Merd Pharmeceutical Group. I plan to see my doctor next week and get some.

Check it out. It could be the solution to your problems!

Where do the old hookers go?

John Scott of the University of New England (in Australia, not the US), examined prostitution in rural areas of New South Wales state. He found the sex industry has flourished in rural towns, with many prostitutes making regular visits. Prostitutes as old as 70 continue to work in rural Australia, pushed out of the cities due to strong competition from younger and more attractive sex workers.

Read the rest here...